Bedtime Blunders

Horray!! Bryn is sleeping through the night!! 7-8 hours straight :)  Aside from luck and LOTS of prayers, I believe we have nailed this whole bedtime thing. **Knocking hard on wood**

I think instead of telling you what works, I will tell you what didn't work.

Here is a list of our Biggest Bedtime Blunders:

1. Letting her sleep longer than 2 hours at a time during the day: This one should be a given. If I take a nap longer than that in a day I have a hard time sleeping at night too. It is tempting when she hasn't slept much the night before to lay down and sleep with her for hours on end during the day but to get to the end result of a sleepy nightime baby you have to cut out those long naps. I usually try to keep her up for at least an hour after she eats and this helps her to nap less because she wakes up hungry for her next feeding after about 45 minutes.
2. Putting her down for the night before she is in a deep sleep: When she was less than a month old she had a really hard time being put down. Everytime we put her down she would wake right back up a soon as her little body hit the mattress. She required TONS of rocking, swaddling, shushing, and pacience to go to bed for the night. It took around an hour! We were exhausted by the time she went to bed only to wake up 2 hours later so she could eat again. We were so anxious for her to fall asleep that we would put her down prematurely and pray she would stay asleep. Finally we figured out the signs of Bryn being TOTALLY asleep: open mouth, deep breathing, and limp arms. Then we waited at least 7 minutes after we noticed all of these signs and we would put her down. Now she can be put down, at 2 months old, with a nuk, swaddled, full belly, and half awake and she will put herself to sleep the rest of the way. What a difference a few months can make.
3. Going to get her before she is REALLY crying: I know I don't have the only baby that cries in her sleep. She has gotten us a few times where she is crying on the monitor, pretty loud, and we went to get her to change her diaper or give her a bottle and we walk in and she is sound asleep when we open the door. Other times she is wide awake and we stick the nuk back in her mouth and go back to bed for a few hours. Just because she was crying didn't mean she needed anything. This is really the trick to getting her to sleep through the night! As soon as we stopped picking her up everytime she cried or fussed she was sleeping longer and longer stretches. By no means do we ignore her and let her cry it out. I believe that if you do that in the first few months they learn to not trust you. Just my opinion. 
4. Turning on the lights: From day one we started turning out the lights in the house around 8pm. From then until morning Bryns little world was very dim. I put a nightlight in her room so that we did not kill ourselves tripping over anything when we went to get her for feedings but other than that there was no light. We even keep the lights turned out for diaper changing and feedings.
5. Talking after night waking: Rule of thumb: the less stimulation after bedtime the better. The more relaxed she is the better she will sleep. Anytime she wakes up during the night we keep our lips zipped unless a little shushing is required :)
6. Keeping her bassinet in our room: This lasted one day in our house. Anytime she would fuss we would be up like a shot and making sure she was okay. Putting her in her own room with a monitor that only picked up after a certain decible helped US sleep better.
7. Not putting diaper cream on before bed: When she did start sleeping more through the night she wasn't waking up to have her diaper changed. This resulted in a mild case of diaper rash from being in a wet diaper for a long period of time. Now every night before bed we put lots of cream on to avoid this. No diaper rash in the morning anymore :)

Here is our basic routine for bedtime in the Davis house:

• 8pm: Bathtime! This relaxes little Bryn to the point where she has actually fallen asleep in the bath tub a few times
• 8:15: Lotion and PJs: Bryn likes the fleece ones from Carters.
• 8:30: Last little playtime/giggle time- She is pretty much ready for bed by this time but if she isn't we play a little
• 9pm: Last bottle: I offer her at least 5 oz. but if she will eat more I will give it to her. Full tummy= happy/sleepy baby
• 9:30: Snuggle time-We swaddle her and a half hour of cuddling and she is OUT!
• 10pm: Bed time!
• 5-6am: Diaper Change and Bottle and back to Bed! Usually takes around an hour to do everything.
• 7-8am: We are awake for the day :)

Sweet dreams! :)

Settling In

It has only taken me 8 full weeks but I finally feel like I am not living someone elses life. I will admit that I had a rough start at being a mother. None of if had to do with the fact that Bryn has reflux. I simply felt like being a mother was just not what I had expected it to be. You may be thinking...."What did you think it was going to be like?" The simple answer to your question is....I really have no clue.

Somewhere in the 9 months I was carrying Bryn I romanticized about the idea of being a mother. Our days would be filled with smiles, giggles, rainbows, sunshine, and the occasional unicorn. Now most days are filled with smelly diapers, dirty floors, a crying baby, and 2 pretty dark circles under my eyes.

I did struggle at first with baby blues that developed into postpartum but I have the most amazing support group including my loving husband and parents. I don't know how I would have gotten through those first few weeks without them.

Don't ever be afraid to ask for help because you are feeling overwhelmed. TALK! I was on the phone with my friends, mom, and anyone else who would listen when I was feeling like I was in a deep hole and no way out. I felt guilty for feeling like this when I had the most beautiful baby girl who needed me and I could barely get out of my own head.

The difference between then and now....time. It took me time, practice, and lots of online articles and baby books telling me that I was not alone and things would get better. There is nothing better when you are feeling down than to realize that other people have felt the SAME way. It really puts a new spin on the saying "Misery loves company" doesn't it?

These days Bryn and I have found our "mojo", our rhythm in this whole Mommy-Baby dance. We have found what makes eachother tick, where our breaking points are, and when we both just plain need a nap! 

Being a Momma takes practice. There are no rule books. I probably sound like a broken record but this is the honest truth. It is not all roses and sunshine like so many TV shows, books, and magazines depitct motherhood.

One thing is for certain. When you see that little girl smile for the first time, when you hear her laugh for the first time, or when you just feel her little shudder just as she falls asleep in your arms, those are the times when its ALL worth it.

Bryn is doing worlds better. I switched her to an anti-gas formula which has helped with her fussiness (most days) and we increased her dose of her reflux medication (which has helped for the most part). She still has those days but we have figured out how to deal with them better.

She is sleeping pretty much through the night- 10pm- 4:30am back to bed at 5:30am- 8:00am. We really are fortunate she sleeps well *****knocking LOUDLY on wood******

Another piece of motherly advice: do not expect all days will be the same (both good and bad) because as soon as you start to appreciate it, boom they change. For instance. Bryn hated being put down anywhere (swing, bouncer, bassinet). About the only place she didn't like being put down was her playmat. Now: she needs to be put down a few times a day. We call this her quiet time. She likes to lay awake and sometimes put herself to sleep. Don't ask me why. Maybe she is growing up.

Sorry for the rambling. :) Next time I will be more structured :)

Playtime!

I think every first time Mommy feels like they are not giving their newborn enough stimulation. I was constantly wearing myself out (and that wasn't hard only living on 3 hours of sleep for a few weeks) trying to keep Bryn entertained. I broke out the playmat the day we came home from the hospital.

When she wasn't eating, sleeping, or getting her diaper changed I felt obligated to try to pack as much knowledge in her tiny head as I could. I soon found out how unneccessary that was. I give myself an A+ for effort but all she really wanted at just under a week old was to be held and snuggled and look blankly at my face. I was stressing myself out trying to get some emotion out of her. Nothing.... She would be awake for a total of about 30 minutes before we started noticing that she was getting sleepy (teary eyes, staring off into space, and eventually the pouty lip that seemed to say "You have exactally 3 minutes before I self destruct").

Her belly button didn't fall off until she was about 2 weeks old so we had to wait until then do do tummy time. From the first time on the mat she was already able to lift her head up and turn it side to side. About a week later she was able to hold her head up for a few seconds! She's so strong!

We were constantly playing with her legs and moving them like she was riding a bicycle and her arms like she was rowing a boat. This really helped with her gas as well :)

Her favorite sounds came from her little sound machine that played animal noises and nursery rhymes. From day one I always talked to her and had one sided converstations. This actually was really helpful when she was going through her fussy periods. It helped me to get my frustrations out and also got her used to my voice. Of course I made tons of funny noises too to make her crack a tiny smile. :)

It wasn't until she was about 4 or 5 weeks old that she reallys started to interact with us. Smiles were fleeting but they were there and we would do anything short of standing on our heads to drag them out of her. She still was not interested in her toys but she was starting to "watch" tv. She takes after her daddy already....

At about 6 weeks old she really started to like to play with things and with us. She focused on the toys hanging above her mat and even smiled at them. She started making cooing sounds this week also. It was so cute to watch her play by herself and keep herself entertained. She started following our voices and reacting when we made certain pitched noises. She really loves when we sing to her. Her little eyebrows go up and she makes a little "whistle face" (my absolute favorite!)

My best advice:

-Keep it simple at first

• give them some toys to look at but not too many (I think I overstimulated Bryn in the beginning)
• Faces.....babies LOVE faces. The funnier and more stupid you look the better :)

The New Normal

So I have been thinking about how my life has changed since becoming a mommy. I can't believe it will be 8 weeks on Sunday! Pheww! Time really goes by so quickly.

I wanted to do a sort of comparison between of how the dynamics of my life have evolved from pre to post Bryn. Here it goes:

Cleaning the house:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Straighten up/put away things my husband has left all over the house for the cleaning lady to pick up....cough cough
2. Dust all surfaces
3. Clean windows
4. Vacuum
5. Sweep tile floors
6. Mop tile floors

Post-Bryn-

1. Put Bryn down for a nap in her swing
2. Straighten up/still clean up after my husband/2nd child :) love you honey!
3. Wash bottles
4. Put binky back in Bryns mouth
5. Sweep the floors at top speed cause she is fussing around and about to wake up again
6. Trip over cats playing with dust pile on floor
7. Pick up baby and put her in her carrier
8. Vacuum floors with baby who falls asleep
9. Try to take her out of carrier without waking her up......nice try
10. Dance around house with Bryn who finally falls back asleep
11. Put her back in swing
12. Re sweep the floor after cats have redistributed the mess
13. Mop floors......thank goodness she is still sleeping!
14. Forget about all other cleaning tasks and sit down to relax
15. Enjoy 5 minutes of quiet time before she wakes up again and wants to play
16. Repeat tomorrow because husband comes in house with muddy shoes after work. >:(

Going to the bank and post office:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Gather mail and paychecks
2. Get in car
3. Drive to bank
4. Fill out deposit slip
5. Take out $50 spending cash for the week
6. Get back in car
7. Drive to post office
8. Drop off out going mail

Post Bryn-

1. Feed Bryn
2. Burp well because of her refux/gas
3. Starts to fuss
4. Try to burp again
5. Give up.....the car ride will work it out of her
6. Gather diaper bag/car seat
7. Put Bryn in car seat
8. Starting to scream because we hate going the in car seat
9. Put on shoes/ no need for a coat I am already sweating
10. Get out of house
11. Put car seat in base
12. Realize I forgot paychecks and mail
13. Take car seat back out of car
14. Get paychecks and mail
15. Go back to car
16. Put car seat in car
17. Drive to bank. Thank goodness she fell asleep.
18. Go through the drive through and pray there is not a line
19. Crap! There is a line. Pray she doesn't wake up.
20. Wahh! Shes up and its my turn.
21. Put binky back in mouth.....no good.
22. Screaming louder. I apologize to teller for screaming baby. Oh how cute! How old? Whats her name? Where did you deliver?.....Shut up and take my money so I can get out of here!
23. Takes 10x longer than before.
24. No extra cash this week.....we needed some more butt paste and more gas drops instead.
25. Drive to post office. Back to sleep.
26. Deposit mail. Still sleeping :)
27. Arrive home.
28. Leave in car seat because she is still sleeping.
29. Try to get some cleaning done. Haha mom nice try. I am awake.

Going to visit my parents in PA:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Pack my bag: pants, shirts, underwear, socks, bras, deodorant, hair brush, tooth brush
2. Put bag in car.
3. Drive to PA
4. Enjoy relaxing visit with Momma and Daddy

Post Bryn-

1. Pack my bag the night before: pants shirts underwear, socks, bras, deodorant, hair brush, tooth brush, panty liners (yep....still need them :/) cocoa butter (go away you damn stretch marks!), nursing pads. Probably some other things I have forgotten to pack but who cares.
2. Pack Bryns bag the night before while Daddy plays with her: 4 outfits (we are only staying 2 days but you always need back up), 4 sleepers, burp cloths, swaddles (forget those and die!), diaper cream, about 40 diapers (cant be too careful) box of wipes, lotion, bath tub, baby wash, sound machine, bedding, 3 soft blankets (must have both John Deere ones because the satin is her favorite, 4 binkys (I must have lost about 20 of those already), booger sucker, toys, jacket, body suit (if its really cold), diaper bag, car seat.
3. Wake up next morning and feed her
4. Burp well
5. Shes falling asleep
6. Lets go NOW! Its a 2 hour trip and we will be hungry in 3 hours.
7. Pack car as fast as humanly possible as Bryn is lounging in swing.
8. Attempt to put her in her car seat while she is half asleep....big mistake!
9. Oh well...she will fall asleep as we start driving
10. Put car seat in car
11. Forget keys......run inside like a cheetah (shes already screaming)
12. Get back to car...screaming louder
13. Meet husband at end of driveway.
14. Both roll eyes and he wishes me good luck
15. 3 miles down the road she finally falls asleep
16. Cross my fingers she sleeps through stop light
17. Notice I am almost out of gas
18. Look for gas station with no lines
19. Stop for gas
20. Pray the stupid gas attendant would hurry the heck up before the volcano erupts in my back seat
21. Wishing I still lived in PA so I could pump my own gas!
22. Starts fussing.
23. Finish filling up.
24. Quickly leave.
25. Look for every pothole to put her back to sleep.
26. Enjoy a peaceful 2 hour trip as she sleeps
27. Arrive home
28. Don't unload car
29. Must eat NOW! Feed Bryn
30. Change diaper
31. Enjoy 2 days of much needed Grandparent time :)

Now these scenarios are assuming we are NOT having  a good day. We are working on shortening those lists but it takes time and PRACTICE!

Wahhhhh!

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. We have had a rough couple of weeks  :( So I will start at the beginning.  

2 weeks ago, out of the blue, Bryn woke up screaming and just didn't stop. I am sure that all of you have heard a baby cry before but this was like "nails on chalkboard" "bloody murder" piercing screaming. Tears were streaming down her face and there was absolutely NOTHING we could do to stop it.

She would cry and cry and cry until she was so exhausted she would pass out for about 20 minutes and then wake up and scream some more.

Now Bryn hasn't been the easiest baby but by then we knew what her cries meant and how to soothe her. This was new territory to us. It looked obvious to Brandt and I that she was in pain.

We called the doctor and they told us to come in right away.

He checked her fingers and toes to make sure she didn't have a hair wrapped around them. Nothing. He checked her throat to make sure she didn't have thrush. No thrush. He checked to make sure she didn't have diaper rash. No rash. Took her temperature. 98.4. Normal. Then he checked her belly to see if she had any hard spots that could indicate a blockage. No lumps.

By now she was so tired that she barely could cry. When he did the belly exam she started screaming again. He told us that he wanted us to go to the hospital for an x-ray and ultrasound to make sure that she didn't have a twist in her intestines and intussusception (a telescoping of the intestines that restricts blood flow and causes the tissue to die) and that would require surgery to correct.

Brandt and I were out of our minds driving to the hospital! We prayed the whole way and when we got there they took us right in. After 4 hours in the hospital room, xrays, ultrasounds, a scan for corneal abrasions, and several panic attacks we were told that Bryn had.......COLIC.

We were so relieved that that she did not have a serious medical condition but we couldn't help but fear that for the next several months that our little girl would be screaming non stop.

I reached out to friends for advice and though so much of it was helpful I began to dread everyday. She was fine at night...probably from her vocal exercises during the day but I hardly slept trying to think what I was doing wrong and why nothing was working. We did try simethicone and that seemed to work well.

During a bath, which she loves by the way, we noticed a large patch of rough rashy skin. I remembered reading that food allergies can present in this way so we scheduled yet another trip to the pediatrician.  Our regular doctor but this was actually a blessing. Before looking at the rash we had asked her for advice for our colic. She asked us a few questions. Does she gurgle during and after feedings? Yes. Does she draw her knees up when she is crying? Yes. Does she arch her back? YES. Does she spit up frequently? YES!

Her diagnosis: Reflux. Treatment: Zantac 2 x day. Feeding should be done in the most upright position possible. Keep upright for at least 30 minutes following feedings. Feed 1/2 as much 2x as often. Burp well during and after feedings.

We were so relieved to find out what was bothering her. The medicine started working almost immediately. We were so happy that she had some relief.

The next day was another story. More screaming and nothing we could do. Tried: rocking (which she usually likes), bath, car seat on dryer, vacuum, baby carrier, walk outside, bouncing, and so on.  We called the doctor back and she told us to up the dose slightly.

In the meantime Bryn was still screaming. In the car we went to PA to stay with my parents for a little bit. After 3 days I was fried! I felt like a failure and cried along with her for the 2 hour trip.

In the middle of all of this, my mom sends me an email from her wellness coach from work. She suggested watching this YouTube video. That video SAVED MY SANITY!

Dr. Harvey Karp is a baby genius! He wrote the book, The Happiest Baby on the Block that explains why babies cry and how to soothe them in 5 steps.

He says that babies are born 3 months too early and considers their first 3 months of life "the 4th trimester". They need to feel like they are still in utero.

When a baby cries and doesn't need a diaper change, to be fed, or to be held then the 5 S's should be used.

Swaddle: wrapped up tight like a baby burrito with arms by their side. The tightness mimics the close quarters in my belly.
Bryn had always resisted putting her arms in her blanket and silly me thought that she wanted them out. What she really wanted was to stop flailing around and get tucked in.

Side/ Stomach Positon: also mimics the conditions in the uterus. When babies are on their back they feel like they are falling and startle. Keeping them on their side or stomach makes them feel secure.

Shhh!: Making a loud shhhhhh represents the sound that they heard for 9 months and creates a calming effect.

Swing: Moving side to side in a vigourous fashion.

Suck: This can only be done when they are mostly calmed down. The icing on the cake for Bryn.

These steps really took some work because I am highly uncoordinated.

My theory is that she lost trust in us for several days while we struggled to find out what was wrong with her. After 4 days of applying the S's she really only needs them once in a while.

We are starting to realize the warning signs and catch a cry before it happens. As a result she is a much more relaxed baby (actually napping now during the day).

It was so easy to feel like I had failed her and I will admit, that was the lowest I have felt since she was born. With the help of my family, husband, and Dr. Harvey Karp, I can proudly say that I am a happy Momma again because of the smiles my little girl is giving me again.