Constant worry is something that goes hand in hand with being a first time mom. Just being through this myself I can tell you there are a few things that you shouldn't worry about.
Now I am not a doctor or baby expert. I do not have all the answers and if something just doesn't seem right you should call your ped. just to check.
Trust your instincts. You know what is best for your baby always :)
Don't worry if:
- Other people don't want to hold your little one right away- Not everyone is a "baby person". It doesn't mean that they don't care. To many people, babies are fragile and they man not feel comfortable holding your little bundle. This will change
- Your babies face is covered in pimples- Bryns baby acne started around 3 weeks. There isn't really anything you can do. It will go away on its own at around 8-10 weeks.
- Their personality changes overnight- Just a basic truth. This happens so many times you will start to lose track. Don't get frustrated. Its all a part of being a baby.
- Scaly, orange dandruff engulfs your little ones head- Cradle cap is very normal. It does go away. Aveeno shampoo for dry skin helps A LOT!
- You call your pediatrician almost daily with questions- Hey, you pay these people for this. Piece of mind is absolutely priceless.
- Your baby "isn't like others his/her age"-This sounds like a given but it is hard not to compare babies. Each baby develops at their own pace. Just because your friends baby is already rolling over or grabbing toys doesn't mean that your baby should be able to do the same nor does it make you a bad parent. Don't stress. Babies have been doing this for thousands of years. You'll get there.
- Everyone tries to give you advice- Don't let people push you around. Especially family. My best advice, try everything and do what feels right or what works for you. Just because someone elses bedtime routine for their baby works for them doesn't mean it will work for you
You wouldn't be normal if you didn't fret over every little thing with your first baby. Like I said, trust your instincts and you can't go wrong :)
One of the hardest things for me as a new mommy was to be 'stuck' inside. Bryn was born in the middle of winter and fresh air would have had us both frozen in minutes. Once Brandt went back to work I was home by myself with Bryn and that presented a whole new list of challenges.
At first, going out with Bryn would give me anxiety. She hated being in her car seat! Every time we would put her in it she would scream and scream until we started moving. Even when we got in the car and she was slowly rocked to sleep on the way to the grocery store she would wake up and cry every time the we hit a red light or stop sign. I found myself looking for pot holes just to make the ride a bit more bumpy.
That time has passed and she still is not a huge fan of her car seat but she does tolerate it. Car rides are more pleasant and there is far less crying involved in short trips.
After 12 weeks of practice I have finally developed a travel plan for Bryn and maybe some of these tips might make your outings a little more pleasant as well.
- Start small: Don't plan on making huge pantry stuffing, shopping trips right away. Go for a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread. There is nothing that made me more panicky than a crying baby when I am by myself at the store and I am only half way through my list.
- Make a plan: Have a list of items you need to get or errands you need to run and know exactly where they are. I know my Shoprite like the back of my hand so I make my list 2 x. Once for the items I know I need and another to put them in order of where they are in the store. This cuts my shopping trips almost in half!
- Do a practice run: Before you are set loose with baby ask your husband or other support person to go with just for support. They are there if you need them and that can put you at ease which is a HUGE factor in keeping your baby calm. They are more intuitive than you may think and can pick up on your emotions VERY early on.
- Pick a time when your baby is sleepy but not overtired: I take Bryn after she eats because is usually about 20 minutes before her nap. It gives her a little time to work any gas out and to relax. They do get more flexible I promise but you really need to work around their schedule for a while.
- Clean diaper and full diaper bag: Change their diaper right before you put them in their car seat. I may have the only baby that actually LOVES having her diaper changed but this actually works to my advantage before errands. I bring a the necessities for a short trip: diapers, wipes, a toy, pacifier, and blanket. Don't stress yourself. You will only be gone for a short time.
- Bring a Bjorn: Any baby 'holster' will do. If you HAVE to get your shopping done this is the way to go. Bryn loves hers and could be in it for hours if she needed to be. This will put your mind at ease and help calm a cranky baby. It also frees up your hands and your eyes. :)
- GET A CROSS BODY PURSE OR COMBINE YOUR DIAPER BAG AND PURSE: This helped me a ton. Cross body bags help free up your hands if you need them and make everything easier.
- Park near any cart return: No matter where in the parking lot you end up make sure it is near one.
- STAY CALM: like I said before, the more relaxed you are the more relaxed baby will be.
- Don't care what others think: A babies cry can be irritating to people but they will get over it. Most people who have either had babies or have been around babies can sympathize with a new mommy. You worry about your baby and not other people. We were trapped in the checkout or "Linear Hell" one time and Bryn was screaming bloody murder. I swear that everyone in the store could hear her and the cashier was taking her sweet old time. I was sweating bullet and about to have a breakdown and the lady in the checkout next to me with a cart full of kids said to the lady behind me after hearing her say "Can't she shut that baby up?" "You have obviously never had kids lady!" I was so thankful for the support from a complete stranger and thanked her after escaping from the store. Moms really do stick together!
- Don't be discouraged if your your trip doesn't go as planned: I have left mid shopping trip a few times. Don't be frustrated with your baby. They are trying to get the hang of this whole outside world thing and it may take a little bit.
- Don't avoid it going out: I did after a few bad experiences and let me tell you, it really hurt my mental health. I felt even more trapped by my anxiety and overwhelmed with staying home all the time. Don't let yourself become a domestic prisoner. Make plans with friends to go out to lunch, set short goals like going to the post office or bank, and don't make excuses. Just do it! If you 'fail' the first time don't let it get you down. Bryn can now take on longer shopping trips and is more patient as she starts to enjoy the world around her.
Everything gets easier with time and practice. That is all part of being a new parent. I really do believe in the "4th trimester theory" about how a baby takes another 3 months after being born to really adjust to the outside world.
Take a deep breath and get out there! :)
The first time I walked into Babies R Us I ran out in 5 minutes on the brink of a panic attack. I was overwhelmed with the choices I had. Choices of strollers, diapers, formula, pacifiers, nipple creams, play mats, highchairs, and the list goes on....and on.....and on. How was I going to make these choices? What will my little one like? What will I need? Do I splurge on the expensive pack and play? Am I a bad mother for choosing the cheaper version? Too many questions for such a pregnant lady with her first baby. Now that Bryn is here the best I can do is tell you what things saved my butt a few times and what you should definitely register for. But the fact of the matter is that some things you just cannot prepare for.
To start off, every baby pees and poops and let me tell you, formula-fed babies have some seriously smelly poo! Even breastfed babies poo doesn't exactly smell like roses.
Arm & Hammer Diaper Pail: It is much less expensive than the Diaper Genie and does exactly the same thing. I can't even smell her diapers anymore. It holds about 20 diapers so you need to change the bag about every 2-3 days (2 in the beginning for sure). Refills are about $10 in the grocery store but if you buy the 3-pack at Wal-Mart its only around $16.
At my shower everyone loves to get two things for a new momma: lots of clothes and little basket fillers. One of those fillers is most inevitably the pacifier. I registered for the Gum Drops. In the beginning, Bryn was alright with them but I quickly learned that they were not her favorite. She has a very high pallet and it turns out that the round ones don't exactly float her boat.
Tommy Tippee Orthodontic Pacifier: It sounds super specialized but its only a pacifier with a round-ribbed top and a slanted flat bottom. It helps to fit better in babies mouths. It costs the same as Nuk and is pretty much the same design. My niece also likes this kind and they are much easier to hold compared to Gum Drops. My recommendation is to register for a few different kinds and just one. Now I have about 20 Gum Drops that she doesn't use. Oh well! Theres always the next one ;)
Oh the wipe section! There's a wipe for just about every possible mess your baby could ever make. Boogies, eye crusties, poo, sticky hands, dropped pacifiers blah blah blah. You start out our motherhood by boiling every nuk dripped on the ground and in about a week your mouth will do the same exact job. There is really one that will do it all.
Wet Ones: My life saver for quick clean ups when I don't have any water available. Cleans everything from those nasty little eye boogies that Bryn wakes up with that work like superglue on her poor little eyes to a convenient little hand wipe for those little fuzzies that find their way between her little fingers and toes. Don't get me wrong, a nice bath will fix all of these things too but when a little touch up is needed, these wipes will do the trick and for much cheaper than those other specialty wipes.
What baby doesn't love to swing. Think about it. They are constantly moving when they are in your warm belly all snuggled up. They are always getting rocked to sleep. It just makes sense that they enjoy it when they are welcomed into the world. I got a hand-me-down from my Aunt that is great but for newborns it doesn't work the best.
Graco Swing:Look for a swing that can recline that has a shallow dish and side support so your little one isn't virtually bent in half. I even used rolled up swaddles to giver her a little boost when she was really little. Ones with music are absolutely necessary! Classical music is always a hit. Not my favorite but it puts Bryn right to sleep. There are ones that can change direction from front and back to side to side. Bryn prefers the front to back. There are a few speed setting but I usually keep it on medium. I don't let Bryn nap in her bassinet or crib. I believe those are for sleeping at night. The swing is great for those daytime naps so Momma can actually catch up on the laundry. :)
Gas. Bad in husbands and bad in babies. Poor Bryn has been battling this since she was born and thank you to some very helpful FB friends we discovered this very early on and it has been making our lives so much more pleasant.
Simethicone: Anti-gas drops that give baby (and mom) virtually instant relief. It works as an anti-foaming agent that combines bubbles in the tummy so that they do not work their way into the intestine and cause bloating and pain. For about $3 a bottle this will save your life. There are many different brands but they all do the same thing. I found this one at my grocery store and it is a fraction of the price of Little Tummies. I used to give them to Bryn after every meal to prevent it but since she has gotten a little bigger I only used them about once a day to relieve occasional gas.
When Bryn was diagnosed in the hospital with colic, before we found out it was reflux, we started looking up ways to calm a crying baby. Dr. Havey Karp and the 5 S's really were a life saver. What wasn't so helpful are those loose swaddle cloths that Bryn wriggled her way out of in about 4 seconds. We spent more time trying to keep her in the swaddle than actually calming her.
Summer Swaddle Wraps: These take about 10 seconds to put her in and keep her more tightly snuggled than wraps. These are worth their weight in gold!
This next one might seem like an extravagance but trust me it really works!
Aveeno Calming Comfort Bath & Lotion: I use them every other night or when Bryn is fussy around bed time. It helps calm her (and me) so that we can both relax into a deeper sleep.
I started Bryn on this about 2 weeks ago and I totally believe that this is why we aren't using the simethicone as much.
Enfamil Gentlease: It worked almost within the first 2 days to help her little tummy feel better. She still gets occasional gas but its mostly from the way she eats. I uses the Tommy Tippee bottles and that paired with the slow nipples have really helped her cut down on the amount of air she sucks when she is eating.
I hope this helps some of you. I really couldn't have gotten through the first few weeks of motherhood without the advice of the mothers in my life. :)
