A 10 Month Old's Letter to Santa

This is absolutely hysterical (mostly because it is so true!)

A 10 Month Old's Letter to Santa

Merry Christmas :)

Best New Mommy Gifts

Wondering what to get for a new mother? There are so many things that most people take for granted that new mothers really would rather have than a box of diapers or a really cute outfit (no offense to those gifts of course).

The following may not be the case for every new mother but for me these were those "gifts I couldn't register for".

• FOOD: Notice this one is the first one on the list.....The last thing that a new family wants to worry about after they bring home their new bundle of joy is what to make for dinner. Make and freeze a couple of one-pot meals that Mom and Dad can just throw in the oven quick. Better yet, bring a few of them and bring one that is hot and enjoy spending time with the new family!

• A PHONE CALL: Texting has truly made a simple phone call a thing of the past. However, nothing can bring joy to a new mother more than knowing that someone has taken  20 minutes out of their day to see how she is doing instead of sending a sentence or two in a text. Perhaps a text would be nice first to make sure that baby (and mommy for that matter) is not sleeping.

• A VISIT: Having a newborn baby can be the most amazing and lonely time in a new mommy's life. Especially when dad has returned to work. Nothing would cheer her up more than to have a visit from a friend or family member. Having "adult time" may mean more than you think to a new family.

• A HUG: Many new mothers never want to admit that they feel a little blue. A hug can be just the ticket for a mommy who is feeling blue-ish.

• YOUR EAR: Sometimes all you need to give anyone (not just a new mommy) is you time and your ear to talk to. Letting her know that you are there for her (maybe not just to change a few diapers) can go a long way.

Sometimes not all gifts come in a package :)

We're back!

Hello everyone!

Sorry I have been away from my blog for so long. Just a mild interruption of working a full-time job and having a rambunctious little one. You all know how it goes. Now that we have slowed down here on the farm I can hopefully get back to our weekly-monthly entries.

Here is a little update on Bryn:

REFLUX:
G-O-N-E. No more meds. No more special formula. No more burping her every five seconds. From about 5 months she has been rid of that horrible beast. Thank God! After an informal poll of all of my friends with kiddos it turns out that it is quite common but there are varying degrees of course. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful pediatrician that has helped us all along the way. Thank you Dr. Libbert :)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ........
One of the best feelings in the world for new mothers is a FULL night's sleep. Our little Bryn has been sleeping through the night (about 8:30pm- 7:00am) for about 4 months now. That doesn't mean that we won't have a little night-waking due to teething or a stuffy nose every now and then but we have been so thankful. The best part is that we have a happy, well-rested little one the next morning who wakes up every morning with a smile.


FOODS:
We are slowly doing away with the bottle and she is "cautiously" trying new foods. She is now eating everything we eat including: spaghetti, pancakes, sausage, meatloaf, pickles (the new favorite)and the list goes on and on. She is becoming very picky with her foods so we are staying strong and not giving into her "I only want to eat crunchies, puffs, or mum-mums" cries. Wish us luck. *crossing fingers and saying prayers* The sippy cup is finally mastered. We also have tried every single one known to man-kind.

PLAY:
To Bryn, everything that is not a toy is most appealing. I.E: The nightlight, the TV remote, the trash can, the recycling bin, the cat's tail(well maybe that is a toy), the xbox controller, and all folded laundry. Our favorite game is currently "lets drop all of our food on the ground and watch the dog or cat eat it".  I do not share the enjoyment in this game..... Bryn has been crawling for a few months now and would rather be standing up holding onto something than sitting. She occasionally is letting go and trying to stand by herself. She will walk with us if we hold her hands but sometimes she sits down and refuses to move all together. She is clearly very opinionated.


COMMUNICATION
Pointing and saying "DA" is the phrase of the month in our house. She will point at everything in the room and we will tell her what it is. It is so fun to watch her learn and communicate with us. My parents have several animal mounts in the living room and we ask her to show us the deer and she will point to the deer and then we will repeat the same game for the fish and the bear. She loves it! She will occasionally say "momma" or "dada" but or "pop-pop" but she won't call us directly by our titles. Her facial expressions are the best though. :)




I have a lot of friends who recently have had babies or are now expecting. If there is anything you have questions or are wondering about please let me know. :) I have a few topics in mind for the next entry but if you have requests please send them my way. I am not an expert on anything but we have had many challenges and I have tried nearly everything at least once. :)

Doctors Office Do's and Don'ts

My little pumpkin gave us quite a scare last week! I came home from work and was enjoying a fun afternoon with Bryn. After taking a short nap, Bryn awoke with a fever of 104.7! I went into panic mode, called the doctor, called my mom, googled like a mad woman only to find that we weren't in the dangerous temperature. 106 is a the appropriate temperature to freak out. Pheww! I was still clearly worried. We got her into a luke-warm bath and immediately started tylenol. The next day we went to the ped. and he took a urine sample and sent us for blood-work (seriously the most painful thing EVER for mommy and baby both). Long story short, she had a urinary tract infection and amoxicillin cleared it up very quickly.  At the end of this whole ordeal, I decided I needed to add a blog about what to do and not do when you are talking and visting with the pediatrician.

Do's

• Call right away: Even if you are only slightly worried. Their conditions can worsen very quickly and you really want to safe rather than sorry.
• Write down all symptoms: When you go into Mommy-Panic-Mode it is very easy to forget times and symptoms. You want to give the doctor or nurse a clear timeline so that they can accurately diagnose and treat your little one
• Relax: I know this sounds like a COMPLETELY unreasonable request but it will help calm your peanut and a calm baby makes a calm mommy. Being frantic will not help the situation. I did not follow this advice and I, not only freaked myself out, but I made Bryn hysterical.
• Listen, write down, or ask the ped. for list of instructions: I can be hard to focus on what the doctor is telling you about your little one either because you are focused on a fussy baby or they are just throwing WAY too much information at you at once. It is easy to miss details about how to treat you baby's condition.
• ASK QUESTIONS: If you do not understand something the ped. is telling you do not feel stupid for asking even the most basic question (how could they have gotten this condition? Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening again? How long should symptoms last?) Believe me! I asked everything. You may think of questions even after leaving the office but just call and leave a message. I was on the phone for 15 minutes just asking questions I thought of after walking out the door!

Don't:

• Blame yourself: Little ones get sick, they get hurt and blaming yourself will only make the situation worse. Instead, focus on getting them feeling better. Don't be so hard on yourself.
• Let the Ped. dismiss your worries: You have a right to ask questions, to be concerned. You didn't go to medical school and you have a right to answers (as long as they have them) Afterall, you pay them for this!
• Be afraid for a second opinion: This is why I actually prefer a practice with several doctors. I have gotten to know each of them and how they handle situations and answer questions. I called with questions 2 or 3 times and asked for different doctors to look at her charts and give me their opinion over the phone. This helped me understand Bryns symptoms and treatment better and gave me more piece of mind. Every doctor is different. I was able to take advice from each of them and use it in a way that really helped me treat her condition in a way that worked for her.
• Change any treatment without talking to the pediatrician first: If they are on several medications this could really affect the outcome and could prolong the sickness. If you don't understand what the medications or treatments they gave you are really doing or how important they are then CALL THE PED!
• Use the internet like the Bible: This will only confuse you. However, a little google work will help you to come up with a few questions to ask the ped.

I hope these tips will help you when visiting the doctor and calm your nerves when dealing with a sick little one.

What a difference a month makes!

It's hard to believe that just 3 short months ago our beautiful daughter arrived and changed our lives forever!

Looking back I can remember when everyone used to say "Can you believe how fast they grow?!" I will admit, those first 2 months were brutal and I couldn't have disagreed more with that statement. Time just felt like it stood at times. But there was a clearly defined week when we really started to "get along" and enjoy each other. Ever since then I have felt guilty for wanting time to fast forward. I would do it all over again. :)

I have learned now that it is best not to blink because I might miss something. Shes just changing so much everyday and I am pretty sure my facebook friends without kids are like "Uggghh! Not another baby picture. We get it! You love your baby!" I feel the need to capture every moment.

This is how much Bryn's changed:

Sleeping:

• 1 month old: hard to go to sleep, hard to stay asleep, up every 2 hours for about 2 hours......lets just say it looked like I had my eyeshadow on upside-down
• 2 months old: easier to go to sleep but she still fought it, slept for about 5 hours at a time...Momma looked less like a zombie
• 3 months old: sleeping through the night, could put her in her crib half awake and she would put herself to sleep, needed satin bunny to cuddle with <<sigh>>

Playtime:

• 1 month old: lasted about 10 minutes before she pooped out.....literally
• 2 months old: facial expressions always got a smile and maybe a little giggle here or there, really cranky this month because of the reflux
• 3 months: bouncing around like a kangaroo in her jumper, laughing constantly, liked playing with anyone, can go for hours

Meals:

• 1 month old: 1-2 oz every 2-3 hours all day long......momma= milk machine
• 2 months old: 4 oz. every 3-4 hours all day and every 5-6 at night
• 2 months old: 6-7 oz. every 4-5 hours all day and none at night....<<<big grins>>>

Milestones:

• 1 month old: first smiles
• 2 months old: first giggles, stronger neck, trying to put pressure on legs
• 3 months old: jumping in her jumper, holding her head up all on her own, sits up for a few seconds by herself, trying to roll over, standing for a few seconds while we hold her. Watch out! Next month she will be rolling all over the place.

Mommy's Mental Moments:

• 1 month old: OMG!! What did I get myself into...
• 2 months old: Ok. This isn't so scary. <<snuggles Bryn all day>>
• 3 months old: Where the heck did the time go? Can I go back please??  I'm not ready for her to grow up yet. <<pouty face>>

Cries:

• 1 month old: progressively got louder, wanted to invest in ear plugs
• 2 months old: scratch the crying. We went straight to screaming.
• 3 months old: rarely do we scream and when she cries they are very specific. Shes getting more patient with us :)

Looks.....the obvious one:

• 1 month old:

 

•  2 months old:

•  3 months old:

Moral of the story: DO NOT WITH THE TIME AWAY. Every moment, milestone, snuggle, and even cry (or scream) is precious. You WILL want every moment back. Even the challenging ones. Enjoy each day as if you will get another one like it.

-One VERY proud Rookie Momma

p.s: Thank you so much for following our journey. I love hearing from everyone telling me they follow this blog. It really means a lot and I am so glad you are laughing (and crying) with us on this crazy journey called parenthood. :)

Don't worry if...

Constant worry is something that goes hand in hand with being a first time mom. Just being through this myself I can tell you there are a few things that you shouldn't worry about.

Now I am not a doctor or baby expert. I do not have all the answers and if something just doesn't seem right you should call your ped. just to check.

Trust your instincts. You know what is best for your baby always :)

Don't worry if:

• Other people don't want to hold your little one right away- Not everyone is a "baby person". It doesn't mean that they don't care. To many people, babies are fragile and they man not feel comfortable holding your little bundle. This will change
• Your babies face is covered in pimples- Bryns baby acne started around 3 weeks. There isn't really anything you can do. It will go away on its own at around 8-10 weeks.
• Their personality changes overnight- Just a basic truth. This happens so many times you will start to lose track. Don't get frustrated. Its all a part of being a baby.
• Scaly, orange dandruff engulfs your little ones head- Cradle cap is very normal. It does go away. Aveeno shampoo for dry skin helps A LOT!
• You call your pediatrician almost daily with questions- Hey, you pay these people for this. Piece of mind is absolutely priceless.
• Your baby "isn't like others his/her age"-This sounds like a given but it is hard not to compare babies. Each baby develops at their own pace. Just because your friends baby is already rolling over or grabbing toys doesn't mean that your baby should be able to do the same nor does it make you a bad parent. Don't stress. Babies have been doing this for thousands of years. You'll get there.
• Everyone tries to give you advice- Don't let people push you around. Especially family. My best advice, try everything and do what feels right or what works for you. Just because someone elses bedtime routine for their baby works for them doesn't mean it will work for you

You wouldn't be normal if you didn't fret over every little thing with your first baby. Like I said, trust your instincts and you can't go wrong :)

Errands Made Easy

One of the hardest things for me as a new mommy was to be 'stuck' inside. Bryn was born in the middle of winter and fresh air would have had us both frozen in minutes. Once Brandt went back to work I was home by myself with Bryn and that presented a whole new list of challenges.

At first, going out with Bryn would give me anxiety. She hated being in her car seat! Every time we would put her in it she would scream and scream until we started moving. Even when we got in the car and she was slowly rocked to sleep on the way to the grocery store she would wake up and cry every time the we hit a red light or stop sign. I found myself looking for pot holes just to make the ride a bit more bumpy.

That time has passed and she still is not a huge fan of her car seat but she does tolerate it. Car rides are more pleasant and there is far less crying involved in short trips.

After 12 weeks of practice I have finally developed a travel plan for Bryn and maybe some of these tips might make your outings a little more pleasant as well.

1. Start small: Don't plan on making huge pantry stuffing, shopping trips right away. Go for a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread. There is nothing that made me more panicky than a crying baby when I am by myself at the store and I am only half way through my list.
2. Make a plan: Have a list of items you need to get or errands you need to run and know exactly where they are. I know my Shoprite like the back of my hand so I make my list 2 x. Once for the items I know I need and another to put them in order of where they are in the store. This cuts my shopping trips almost in half!
3. Do a practice run: Before you are set loose with baby ask your husband or other support person to go with just for support. They are there if you need them and that can put you at ease which is a HUGE factor in keeping your baby calm. They are more intuitive than you may think and can pick up on your emotions VERY early on.
4. Pick a time when your baby is sleepy but not overtired: I take Bryn after she eats because is usually about 20 minutes before her nap. It gives her a little time to work any gas out and to relax. They do get more flexible I promise but you really need to work around their schedule for a while.
5. Clean diaper and full diaper bag: Change their diaper right before you put them in their car seat. I may have the only baby that actually LOVES having her diaper changed but this actually works to my advantage before errands. I bring a the necessities for a short trip: diapers, wipes, a toy, pacifier, and blanket. Don't stress yourself. You will only be gone for a short time.
6. Bring a Bjorn: Any baby 'holster' will do. If you HAVE to get your shopping done this is the way to go. Bryn loves hers and could be in it for hours if she needed to be. This will put your mind at ease and help calm a cranky baby. It also frees up your hands and your eyes. :)
7. GET A CROSS BODY PURSE OR COMBINE YOUR DIAPER BAG AND PURSE: This helped me a ton. Cross body bags help free up your hands if you need them and make everything easier.
8. Park near any cart return: No matter where in the parking lot you end up make sure it is near one.
9. STAY CALM: like I said before, the more relaxed you are the more relaxed baby will be.
10. Don't care what others think: A babies cry can be irritating to people but they will get over it. Most people who have either had babies or have been around babies can sympathize with a new mommy. You worry about your baby and not other people. We were trapped in the checkout or "Linear Hell" one time and Bryn was screaming bloody murder. I swear that everyone in the store could hear her and the cashier was taking her sweet old time. I was sweating bullet and about to have a breakdown and the lady in the checkout next to me with a cart full of kids said to the lady behind me after hearing her say "Can't she shut that baby up?" "You have obviously never had kids lady!" I was so thankful for the support from a complete stranger and thanked her after escaping from the store. Moms really do stick together!
11. Don't be discouraged if your your trip doesn't go as planned: I have left mid shopping trip a few times. Don't be frustrated with your baby. They are trying to get the hang of this whole outside world thing and it may take a little bit.
12. Don't avoid it going out: I did after a few bad experiences and let me tell you, it really hurt my mental health. I felt even more trapped by my anxiety and overwhelmed with staying home all the time. Don't let yourself become a domestic prisoner.  Make plans with friends to go out to lunch, set short goals like going to the post office or bank, and don't make excuses. Just do it! If you 'fail' the first time don't let it get you down. Bryn can now take on longer shopping trips and is more patient as she starts to enjoy the world around her.

Everything gets easier with time and practice. That is all part of being a new parent. I really do believe in the "4th trimester theory" about how a baby takes another 3 months after being born to really adjust to the outside world.

Take a deep breath and get out there! :)

These are a few of my favorite things

The first time I walked into Babies R Us I ran out in 5 minutes on the brink of a panic attack. I was overwhelmed with the choices I had. Choices of strollers, diapers, formula, pacifiers, nipple creams, play mats, highchairs, and the list goes on....and on.....and on. How was I going to make these choices? What will my little one like? What will I need? Do I splurge on the expensive pack and play? Am I a bad mother for choosing the cheaper version? Too many questions for such a pregnant lady with her first baby. Now that Bryn is here the best I can do is tell you what things saved my butt a few times and what you should definitely register for. But the fact of the matter is that some things you just cannot prepare for.

To start off, every baby pees and poops and let me tell you, formula-fed babies have some seriously smelly poo! Even breastfed babies poo doesn't exactly smell like roses.

Arm & Hammer Diaper Pail: It is much less expensive than the Diaper Genie and does exactly the same thing. I can't even smell her diapers anymore. It holds about 20 diapers so you need to change the bag about every 2-3 days (2 in the beginning for sure). Refills are about $10 in the grocery store but if you buy the 3-pack at Wal-Mart its only around $16.

At my shower everyone loves to get two things for a new momma: lots of clothes and little basket fillers. One of those fillers is most inevitably the pacifier. I registered for the Gum Drops. In the beginning, Bryn was alright with them but I quickly learned that they were not her favorite. She has a very high pallet and it turns out that the round ones don't exactly float her boat.

Tommy Tippee Orthodontic Pacifier:  It sounds super specialized but its only a pacifier with a round-ribbed top and a slanted flat bottom. It helps to fit better in babies mouths. It costs the same as Nuk and is pretty much the same design. My niece also likes this kind and they are much easier to hold compared to Gum Drops. My recommendation is to register for a few different kinds and just one. Now I have about 20 Gum Drops that she doesn't use. Oh well! Theres always the next one ;)

Oh the wipe section! There's a wipe for just about every possible mess your baby could ever make. Boogies, eye crusties, poo, sticky hands, dropped pacifiers blah blah blah. You start out our motherhood by boiling every nuk dripped on the ground and in about a week your mouth will do the same exact job. There is really one that will do it all.

Wet Ones: My life saver for quick clean ups when I don't have any water available. Cleans everything from those nasty little eye boogies that Bryn wakes up with that work like superglue on her poor little eyes to a convenient little hand wipe for those little fuzzies that find their way between her little fingers and toes. Don't get me wrong, a nice bath will fix all of these things too but when a little touch up is needed, these wipes will do the trick and for much cheaper than those other specialty wipes.

What baby doesn't love to swing. Think about it. They are constantly moving when they are in your warm belly all snuggled up. They are always getting rocked to sleep. It just makes sense that they enjoy it when they are welcomed into the world. I got a hand-me-down from my Aunt that is great but for newborns it doesn't work the best.

Graco Swing:Look for a swing that can recline that has a shallow dish and side support so your little one isn't virtually bent in half. I even used rolled up swaddles to giver her a little boost when she was really little. Ones with music are absolutely necessary! Classical music is always a hit. Not my favorite but it puts Bryn right to sleep. There are ones that can change direction from front and back to side to side. Bryn prefers the front to back. There are a few speed setting but I usually keep it on medium. I don't let Bryn nap in her bassinet or crib. I believe those are for sleeping at night. The swing is great for those daytime naps so Momma can actually catch up on the laundry. :)

Gas. Bad in husbands and bad in babies. Poor Bryn has been battling this since she was born and thank you to some very helpful FB friends we discovered this very early on and it has been making our lives so much more pleasant.

Simethicone: Anti-gas drops that give baby (and mom) virtually instant relief. It works as an anti-foaming agent that combines bubbles in the tummy so that they do not work their way into the intestine and cause bloating and pain. For about $3 a bottle this will save your life. There are many different brands but they all do the same thing. I found this one at my grocery store and it is a fraction of the price of Little Tummies. I used to give them to Bryn after every meal to prevent it but since she has gotten a little bigger I only used them about once a day to relieve occasional gas.

When Bryn was diagnosed in the hospital with colic, before we found out it was reflux, we started looking up ways to calm a crying baby. Dr. Havey Karp and the 5 S's really were a life saver. What wasn't so helpful are those loose swaddle cloths that Bryn wriggled her way out of in about 4 seconds. We spent more time trying to keep her in the swaddle than actually calming her.

Summer Swaddle Wraps: These take about 10 seconds to put her in and keep her more tightly snuggled than wraps. These are worth their weight in gold!

This next one might seem like an extravagance but trust me it really works!

Aveeno Calming Comfort Bath & Lotion: I use them every other night or when Bryn is fussy around bed time. It helps calm her (and me) so that we can both relax into a deeper sleep.

I started Bryn on this about 2 weeks ago and I totally believe that this is why we aren't using the simethicone as much.

Enfamil Gentlease: It worked almost within the first 2 days to help her little tummy feel better. She still gets occasional gas but its mostly from the way she eats. I uses the Tommy Tippee bottles and that paired with the slow nipples have really helped her cut down on the amount of air she sucks when she is eating.

I hope this helps some of you. I really couldn't have gotten through the first few weeks of motherhood without the advice of the mothers in my life. :)

Bedtime Blunders

Horray!! Bryn is sleeping through the night!! 7-8 hours straight :)  Aside from luck and LOTS of prayers, I believe we have nailed this whole bedtime thing. **Knocking hard on wood**

I think instead of telling you what works, I will tell you what didn't work.

Here is a list of our Biggest Bedtime Blunders:

1. Letting her sleep longer than 2 hours at a time during the day: This one should be a given. If I take a nap longer than that in a day I have a hard time sleeping at night too. It is tempting when she hasn't slept much the night before to lay down and sleep with her for hours on end during the day but to get to the end result of a sleepy nightime baby you have to cut out those long naps. I usually try to keep her up for at least an hour after she eats and this helps her to nap less because she wakes up hungry for her next feeding after about 45 minutes.
2. Putting her down for the night before she is in a deep sleep: When she was less than a month old she had a really hard time being put down. Everytime we put her down she would wake right back up a soon as her little body hit the mattress. She required TONS of rocking, swaddling, shushing, and pacience to go to bed for the night. It took around an hour! We were exhausted by the time she went to bed only to wake up 2 hours later so she could eat again. We were so anxious for her to fall asleep that we would put her down prematurely and pray she would stay asleep. Finally we figured out the signs of Bryn being TOTALLY asleep: open mouth, deep breathing, and limp arms. Then we waited at least 7 minutes after we noticed all of these signs and we would put her down. Now she can be put down, at 2 months old, with a nuk, swaddled, full belly, and half awake and she will put herself to sleep the rest of the way. What a difference a few months can make.
3. Going to get her before she is REALLY crying: I know I don't have the only baby that cries in her sleep. She has gotten us a few times where she is crying on the monitor, pretty loud, and we went to get her to change her diaper or give her a bottle and we walk in and she is sound asleep when we open the door. Other times she is wide awake and we stick the nuk back in her mouth and go back to bed for a few hours. Just because she was crying didn't mean she needed anything. This is really the trick to getting her to sleep through the night! As soon as we stopped picking her up everytime she cried or fussed she was sleeping longer and longer stretches. By no means do we ignore her and let her cry it out. I believe that if you do that in the first few months they learn to not trust you. Just my opinion. 
4. Turning on the lights: From day one we started turning out the lights in the house around 8pm. From then until morning Bryns little world was very dim. I put a nightlight in her room so that we did not kill ourselves tripping over anything when we went to get her for feedings but other than that there was no light. We even keep the lights turned out for diaper changing and feedings.
5. Talking after night waking: Rule of thumb: the less stimulation after bedtime the better. The more relaxed she is the better she will sleep. Anytime she wakes up during the night we keep our lips zipped unless a little shushing is required :)
6. Keeping her bassinet in our room: This lasted one day in our house. Anytime she would fuss we would be up like a shot and making sure she was okay. Putting her in her own room with a monitor that only picked up after a certain decible helped US sleep better.
7. Not putting diaper cream on before bed: When she did start sleeping more through the night she wasn't waking up to have her diaper changed. This resulted in a mild case of diaper rash from being in a wet diaper for a long period of time. Now every night before bed we put lots of cream on to avoid this. No diaper rash in the morning anymore :)

Here is our basic routine for bedtime in the Davis house:

• 8pm: Bathtime! This relaxes little Bryn to the point where she has actually fallen asleep in the bath tub a few times
• 8:15: Lotion and PJs: Bryn likes the fleece ones from Carters.
• 8:30: Last little playtime/giggle time- She is pretty much ready for bed by this time but if she isn't we play a little
• 9pm: Last bottle: I offer her at least 5 oz. but if she will eat more I will give it to her. Full tummy= happy/sleepy baby
• 9:30: Snuggle time-We swaddle her and a half hour of cuddling and she is OUT!
• 10pm: Bed time!
• 5-6am: Diaper Change and Bottle and back to Bed! Usually takes around an hour to do everything.
• 7-8am: We are awake for the day :)

Sweet dreams! :)

Settling In

It has only taken me 8 full weeks but I finally feel like I am not living someone elses life. I will admit that I had a rough start at being a mother. None of if had to do with the fact that Bryn has reflux. I simply felt like being a mother was just not what I had expected it to be. You may be thinking...."What did you think it was going to be like?" The simple answer to your question is....I really have no clue.

Somewhere in the 9 months I was carrying Bryn I romanticized about the idea of being a mother. Our days would be filled with smiles, giggles, rainbows, sunshine, and the occasional unicorn. Now most days are filled with smelly diapers, dirty floors, a crying baby, and 2 pretty dark circles under my eyes.

I did struggle at first with baby blues that developed into postpartum but I have the most amazing support group including my loving husband and parents. I don't know how I would have gotten through those first few weeks without them.

Don't ever be afraid to ask for help because you are feeling overwhelmed. TALK! I was on the phone with my friends, mom, and anyone else who would listen when I was feeling like I was in a deep hole and no way out. I felt guilty for feeling like this when I had the most beautiful baby girl who needed me and I could barely get out of my own head.

The difference between then and now....time. It took me time, practice, and lots of online articles and baby books telling me that I was not alone and things would get better. There is nothing better when you are feeling down than to realize that other people have felt the SAME way. It really puts a new spin on the saying "Misery loves company" doesn't it?

These days Bryn and I have found our "mojo", our rhythm in this whole Mommy-Baby dance. We have found what makes eachother tick, where our breaking points are, and when we both just plain need a nap! 

Being a Momma takes practice. There are no rule books. I probably sound like a broken record but this is the honest truth. It is not all roses and sunshine like so many TV shows, books, and magazines depitct motherhood.

One thing is for certain. When you see that little girl smile for the first time, when you hear her laugh for the first time, or when you just feel her little shudder just as she falls asleep in your arms, those are the times when its ALL worth it.

Bryn is doing worlds better. I switched her to an anti-gas formula which has helped with her fussiness (most days) and we increased her dose of her reflux medication (which has helped for the most part). She still has those days but we have figured out how to deal with them better.

She is sleeping pretty much through the night- 10pm- 4:30am back to bed at 5:30am- 8:00am. We really are fortunate she sleeps well *****knocking LOUDLY on wood******

Another piece of motherly advice: do not expect all days will be the same (both good and bad) because as soon as you start to appreciate it, boom they change. For instance. Bryn hated being put down anywhere (swing, bouncer, bassinet). About the only place she didn't like being put down was her playmat. Now: she needs to be put down a few times a day. We call this her quiet time. She likes to lay awake and sometimes put herself to sleep. Don't ask me why. Maybe she is growing up.

Sorry for the rambling. :) Next time I will be more structured :)

Playtime!

I think every first time Mommy feels like they are not giving their newborn enough stimulation. I was constantly wearing myself out (and that wasn't hard only living on 3 hours of sleep for a few weeks) trying to keep Bryn entertained. I broke out the playmat the day we came home from the hospital.

When she wasn't eating, sleeping, or getting her diaper changed I felt obligated to try to pack as much knowledge in her tiny head as I could. I soon found out how unneccessary that was. I give myself an A+ for effort but all she really wanted at just under a week old was to be held and snuggled and look blankly at my face. I was stressing myself out trying to get some emotion out of her. Nothing.... She would be awake for a total of about 30 minutes before we started noticing that she was getting sleepy (teary eyes, staring off into space, and eventually the pouty lip that seemed to say "You have exactally 3 minutes before I self destruct").

Her belly button didn't fall off until she was about 2 weeks old so we had to wait until then do do tummy time. From the first time on the mat she was already able to lift her head up and turn it side to side. About a week later she was able to hold her head up for a few seconds! She's so strong!

We were constantly playing with her legs and moving them like she was riding a bicycle and her arms like she was rowing a boat. This really helped with her gas as well :)

Her favorite sounds came from her little sound machine that played animal noises and nursery rhymes. From day one I always talked to her and had one sided converstations. This actually was really helpful when she was going through her fussy periods. It helped me to get my frustrations out and also got her used to my voice. Of course I made tons of funny noises too to make her crack a tiny smile. :)

It wasn't until she was about 4 or 5 weeks old that she reallys started to interact with us. Smiles were fleeting but they were there and we would do anything short of standing on our heads to drag them out of her. She still was not interested in her toys but she was starting to "watch" tv. She takes after her daddy already....

At about 6 weeks old she really started to like to play with things and with us. She focused on the toys hanging above her mat and even smiled at them. She started making cooing sounds this week also. It was so cute to watch her play by herself and keep herself entertained. She started following our voices and reacting when we made certain pitched noises. She really loves when we sing to her. Her little eyebrows go up and she makes a little "whistle face" (my absolute favorite!)

My best advice:

-Keep it simple at first

• give them some toys to look at but not too many (I think I overstimulated Bryn in the beginning)
• Faces.....babies LOVE faces. The funnier and more stupid you look the better :)

The New Normal

So I have been thinking about how my life has changed since becoming a mommy. I can't believe it will be 8 weeks on Sunday! Pheww! Time really goes by so quickly.

I wanted to do a sort of comparison between of how the dynamics of my life have evolved from pre to post Bryn. Here it goes:

Cleaning the house:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Straighten up/put away things my husband has left all over the house for the cleaning lady to pick up....cough cough
2. Dust all surfaces
3. Clean windows
4. Vacuum
5. Sweep tile floors
6. Mop tile floors

Post-Bryn-

1. Put Bryn down for a nap in her swing
2. Straighten up/still clean up after my husband/2nd child :) love you honey!
3. Wash bottles
4. Put binky back in Bryns mouth
5. Sweep the floors at top speed cause she is fussing around and about to wake up again
6. Trip over cats playing with dust pile on floor
7. Pick up baby and put her in her carrier
8. Vacuum floors with baby who falls asleep
9. Try to take her out of carrier without waking her up......nice try
10. Dance around house with Bryn who finally falls back asleep
11. Put her back in swing
12. Re sweep the floor after cats have redistributed the mess
13. Mop floors......thank goodness she is still sleeping!
14. Forget about all other cleaning tasks and sit down to relax
15. Enjoy 5 minutes of quiet time before she wakes up again and wants to play
16. Repeat tomorrow because husband comes in house with muddy shoes after work. >:(

Going to the bank and post office:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Gather mail and paychecks
2. Get in car
3. Drive to bank
4. Fill out deposit slip
5. Take out $50 spending cash for the week
6. Get back in car
7. Drive to post office
8. Drop off out going mail

Post Bryn-

1. Feed Bryn
2. Burp well because of her refux/gas
3. Starts to fuss
4. Try to burp again
5. Give up.....the car ride will work it out of her
6. Gather diaper bag/car seat
7. Put Bryn in car seat
8. Starting to scream because we hate going the in car seat
9. Put on shoes/ no need for a coat I am already sweating
10. Get out of house
11. Put car seat in base
12. Realize I forgot paychecks and mail
13. Take car seat back out of car
14. Get paychecks and mail
15. Go back to car
16. Put car seat in car
17. Drive to bank. Thank goodness she fell asleep.
18. Go through the drive through and pray there is not a line
19. Crap! There is a line. Pray she doesn't wake up.
20. Wahh! Shes up and its my turn.
21. Put binky back in mouth.....no good.
22. Screaming louder. I apologize to teller for screaming baby. Oh how cute! How old? Whats her name? Where did you deliver?.....Shut up and take my money so I can get out of here!
23. Takes 10x longer than before.
24. No extra cash this week.....we needed some more butt paste and more gas drops instead.
25. Drive to post office. Back to sleep.
26. Deposit mail. Still sleeping :)
27. Arrive home.
28. Leave in car seat because she is still sleeping.
29. Try to get some cleaning done. Haha mom nice try. I am awake.

Going to visit my parents in PA:

Pre-Bryn-

1. Pack my bag: pants, shirts, underwear, socks, bras, deodorant, hair brush, tooth brush
2. Put bag in car.
3. Drive to PA
4. Enjoy relaxing visit with Momma and Daddy

Post Bryn-

1. Pack my bag the night before: pants shirts underwear, socks, bras, deodorant, hair brush, tooth brush, panty liners (yep....still need them :/) cocoa butter (go away you damn stretch marks!), nursing pads. Probably some other things I have forgotten to pack but who cares.
2. Pack Bryns bag the night before while Daddy plays with her: 4 outfits (we are only staying 2 days but you always need back up), 4 sleepers, burp cloths, swaddles (forget those and die!), diaper cream, about 40 diapers (cant be too careful) box of wipes, lotion, bath tub, baby wash, sound machine, bedding, 3 soft blankets (must have both John Deere ones because the satin is her favorite, 4 binkys (I must have lost about 20 of those already), booger sucker, toys, jacket, body suit (if its really cold), diaper bag, car seat.
3. Wake up next morning and feed her
4. Burp well
5. Shes falling asleep
6. Lets go NOW! Its a 2 hour trip and we will be hungry in 3 hours.
7. Pack car as fast as humanly possible as Bryn is lounging in swing.
8. Attempt to put her in her car seat while she is half asleep....big mistake!
9. Oh well...she will fall asleep as we start driving
10. Put car seat in car
11. Forget keys......run inside like a cheetah (shes already screaming)
12. Get back to car...screaming louder
13. Meet husband at end of driveway.
14. Both roll eyes and he wishes me good luck
15. 3 miles down the road she finally falls asleep
16. Cross my fingers she sleeps through stop light
17. Notice I am almost out of gas
18. Look for gas station with no lines
19. Stop for gas
20. Pray the stupid gas attendant would hurry the heck up before the volcano erupts in my back seat
21. Wishing I still lived in PA so I could pump my own gas!
22. Starts fussing.
23. Finish filling up.
24. Quickly leave.
25. Look for every pothole to put her back to sleep.
26. Enjoy a peaceful 2 hour trip as she sleeps
27. Arrive home
28. Don't unload car
29. Must eat NOW! Feed Bryn
30. Change diaper
31. Enjoy 2 days of much needed Grandparent time :)

Now these scenarios are assuming we are NOT having  a good day. We are working on shortening those lists but it takes time and PRACTICE!

Wahhhhh!

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. We have had a rough couple of weeks  :( So I will start at the beginning.  

2 weeks ago, out of the blue, Bryn woke up screaming and just didn't stop. I am sure that all of you have heard a baby cry before but this was like "nails on chalkboard" "bloody murder" piercing screaming. Tears were streaming down her face and there was absolutely NOTHING we could do to stop it.

She would cry and cry and cry until she was so exhausted she would pass out for about 20 minutes and then wake up and scream some more.

Now Bryn hasn't been the easiest baby but by then we knew what her cries meant and how to soothe her. This was new territory to us. It looked obvious to Brandt and I that she was in pain.

We called the doctor and they told us to come in right away.

He checked her fingers and toes to make sure she didn't have a hair wrapped around them. Nothing. He checked her throat to make sure she didn't have thrush. No thrush. He checked to make sure she didn't have diaper rash. No rash. Took her temperature. 98.4. Normal. Then he checked her belly to see if she had any hard spots that could indicate a blockage. No lumps.

By now she was so tired that she barely could cry. When he did the belly exam she started screaming again. He told us that he wanted us to go to the hospital for an x-ray and ultrasound to make sure that she didn't have a twist in her intestines and intussusception (a telescoping of the intestines that restricts blood flow and causes the tissue to die) and that would require surgery to correct.

Brandt and I were out of our minds driving to the hospital! We prayed the whole way and when we got there they took us right in. After 4 hours in the hospital room, xrays, ultrasounds, a scan for corneal abrasions, and several panic attacks we were told that Bryn had.......COLIC.

We were so relieved that that she did not have a serious medical condition but we couldn't help but fear that for the next several months that our little girl would be screaming non stop.

I reached out to friends for advice and though so much of it was helpful I began to dread everyday. She was fine at night...probably from her vocal exercises during the day but I hardly slept trying to think what I was doing wrong and why nothing was working. We did try simethicone and that seemed to work well.

During a bath, which she loves by the way, we noticed a large patch of rough rashy skin. I remembered reading that food allergies can present in this way so we scheduled yet another trip to the pediatrician.  Our regular doctor but this was actually a blessing. Before looking at the rash we had asked her for advice for our colic. She asked us a few questions. Does she gurgle during and after feedings? Yes. Does she draw her knees up when she is crying? Yes. Does she arch her back? YES. Does she spit up frequently? YES!

Her diagnosis: Reflux. Treatment: Zantac 2 x day. Feeding should be done in the most upright position possible. Keep upright for at least 30 minutes following feedings. Feed 1/2 as much 2x as often. Burp well during and after feedings.

We were so relieved to find out what was bothering her. The medicine started working almost immediately. We were so happy that she had some relief.

The next day was another story. More screaming and nothing we could do. Tried: rocking (which she usually likes), bath, car seat on dryer, vacuum, baby carrier, walk outside, bouncing, and so on.  We called the doctor back and she told us to up the dose slightly.

In the meantime Bryn was still screaming. In the car we went to PA to stay with my parents for a little bit. After 3 days I was fried! I felt like a failure and cried along with her for the 2 hour trip.

In the middle of all of this, my mom sends me an email from her wellness coach from work. She suggested watching this YouTube video. That video SAVED MY SANITY!

Dr. Harvey Karp is a baby genius! He wrote the book, The Happiest Baby on the Block that explains why babies cry and how to soothe them in 5 steps.

He says that babies are born 3 months too early and considers their first 3 months of life "the 4th trimester". They need to feel like they are still in utero.

When a baby cries and doesn't need a diaper change, to be fed, or to be held then the 5 S's should be used.

Swaddle: wrapped up tight like a baby burrito with arms by their side. The tightness mimics the close quarters in my belly.
Bryn had always resisted putting her arms in her blanket and silly me thought that she wanted them out. What she really wanted was to stop flailing around and get tucked in.

Side/ Stomach Positon: also mimics the conditions in the uterus. When babies are on their back they feel like they are falling and startle. Keeping them on their side or stomach makes them feel secure.

Shhh!: Making a loud shhhhhh represents the sound that they heard for 9 months and creates a calming effect.

Swing: Moving side to side in a vigourous fashion.

Suck: This can only be done when they are mostly calmed down. The icing on the cake for Bryn.

These steps really took some work because I am highly uncoordinated.

My theory is that she lost trust in us for several days while we struggled to find out what was wrong with her. After 4 days of applying the S's she really only needs them once in a while.

We are starting to realize the warning signs and catch a cry before it happens. As a result she is a much more relaxed baby (actually napping now during the day).

It was so easy to feel like I had failed her and I will admit, that was the lowest I have felt since she was born. With the help of my family, husband, and Dr. Harvey Karp, I can proudly say that I am a happy Momma again because of the smiles my little girl is giving me again.

Baby Blues

In the hospital I was warned that about 80% of women experience some form of "baby blues" after the birth of a child. I laughed and "yeah right! not me".  I was so in love with our little girl that I couldn't see how I would ever feel down.

Coming home was an exciting time and my mom was staying with us to help out with the transition for the first week. I thought it would be easy and I wouldn't feel lonely like so many moms warned me I would feel.

Right as rain, about 2 days after our return home, I sank into a dark place. I felt like I was alone even though I was surrounded by friends and family. I just couldn't get out of my head.  Even though I knew I was ready to be a momma I just couldn't shake the feelings of:

• Am I really ready for this?
• Did I do the right thing?
• When will I ever get a good nights sleep again?
• Can I really do this?
• Our life will never be the same
• We won't ever be able to go out to dinner, to the movies, ....anywhere!
• Am I going to be a good mom?
• Oh the list goes on and on of the thoughts that went through my head.

The good news....It goes away! Those feelings only lasted for about an hour and then I was back to my old self.

I started to look for answers as to why I felt the way I did. I discovered that it is simply hormonal and that there are tons of moms that had the same feelings as I did.

Over the next week I noticed that I experienced these feelings between 4pm and 6pm (when the sun went down). I was able to predict but not prevent these feelings. As per the advice of my knowledgeable Momma I started to plan on doing something for myself, by myself at those times. This REALLY seemed to help A LOT! Here are some things that worked for me:

• Reading a book (baby related)
• Taking a shower 
• Going to visit my horse
• Talking about my feelings to my husband or my mom
• Writing in my blog (thanks guys!)

Writing my feelings down was the best solution for me. It is very cathartic in that I am able to get it out and put words to my low points.

In total, the blues only lasted about 2 weeks. The worst was when my mom left. I didn't have anyone to bounce my feeling off of. Fortunately, I started feeling better in just a few days.

So for all of you mommas-to-be, don't be surprised to experience these so-called "baby blues". They are totally normal and you should NOT feel guilty for feeling any regret. You will feel better in no time at all :)

Breastfeeding...a work in progress

Everyone I have ever talked to that has breastfed their baby has claimed that it is their FAVORITE thing in the entire world. They get such a great feeling of joy from using their body as their baby's personal refrigerator.

I am indifferent to the topic. I do it currently for several reasons:

• Bryn is getting exactly the amount of food she needs to grow healthy and strong
• She is getting all of my immunities
• TO SAVE MONEY. Lets face it, formula is expensive.

Our first feeding experience was great. She had no problem latching on right away and nursed successfully for 10 minutes at each breast.

During our hospital stay, however, Bryn continued to nurse well but she was ravenous (ouch!) Colostrum, first milk, is really thick and yellow in color. It also is not in huge supply. We were instructed to nurse for 10 minutes on each side and I really watched the clock and prayed for time to pass more quickly because it felt as though my nipples would fall off. Palmer's Nipple Butter really saved my butt (or should I say my breasts) for the first few days. I actually developed blood blisters that eventually popped at about 1 week. Don't worry! It wasn't a ton of blood and it was not harmful to Bryn.

It took about a week for my milk to come in and when it did it was like Niagara Falls! I had to pump because I was so engorged. It was great to get a supply going though. Bryn wasn't drinking all I was producing and breast pads became my new best friend. Whenever I would shower, the warm water would stimulate "let down" (feels like pins a needles) and by the time I would get out of the shower I would be literally squirting everywhere. Keeping my back to the water was helpful.

I made the mistake of putting lotion on sore breasts one morning and lets just say Bryn did not like to taste of Bath and Body's Sweet Pea. She refused to eat until I washed it off. Palmer's Coco Butter Lotion did not disagree with her.

When my milk came in I started to notice our next challenge. GAS! My little peanut eats like she is never going to eat again. Gulp gulp gulping it right down. What took us 20 minutes to eat before now only took us about 10 minutes. Night time feedings were even more challenging. She would eat for about 5 minutes and fall dead asleep. No amount of tickling would keep her awake. Thinking she was done I put her down to sleep only to have her wake up screaming bloody murder. She gulped so much air she thought she was full and when the gas bubbles started to surface (either one end or the other) she started to get really bad gas pains. I burped her and she ate again the same way. It would take about an hour to feed her. Then another hour for her to fall back asleep because she was so worked up because of the gas pains. Leaving me only about 30 minutes to an hour nap between nighttime feedings. I was EXHAUSTED! Finally I found a great piece of advice about her "feeding personality". Feed her for 2-3 minutes on one breast and burp her and then switch breasts repeating about 4 times. It took half as long and we finally got the gas under control. The only thing this did not help was the gulping.

The only thing that people keep telling me is that once I figure out Bryn that she will change. Well that is certainly the case. She still gets gassy from time to time but not nearly as bad a she did before. She is learning to not gulp and that is helping.

We are now battling breast preference. She favors the left over the right because the pressure is not as high. I noticed when I pump that I fill up the right bottle twice as fast as the left and that explains why she likes the left. She can still gulp.  Now she eats for 10 minutes straight without burping on one side at each feeding.  I walk around lop-sided all day but it is worth it because eating on one side keeps her focused for the full feeding. 

I don't dread feedings anymore. :) I actually cannot believe I am saying this looking back at how we were in the beginning with bloody nipples and a gassy baby but I actually LIKE breastfeeding Bryn. I feel a huge sense of pride that I am able to provide the nutrition she needs to grow strong and healthy.

A great book for any mothers or expecting mothers is So That's What They're For! by Janet Tamaro. She has so great advice for breastfeeding obstacles that are both modern and humorous.

Guilty Pleasures

Since becoming a new Momma I have learned to totally re-evaluate how I look at each day. I have been very fortunate to have my Mom and Brandt there for the first week of Bryn's homecoming. Even with their help I felt very guilty doing anything for myself. I felt very attached to Bryn. However, I needed to take some time for myself.

• Showering: sounds silly for you non-Mommas but I am sure that all new Mommys can agree that this was a challenge (more so when help is not on hand). I felt very guilty putting her down to do anything and unfortnately I cannot bring her in with me.
• Making dinner: I love cooking. Brandt and I both love cooking actually. When he gets home from work he takes Bryn and plays with her and gets his "baby fix" and I get to prepare a meal. Even the half hour that it takes to make a simple meal is a great time for me to recharge my batteries.
• Reading a book: I have lots of baby books that I go to for questions. Reading one while Bryn naps or plays on her play yard is a great escape for me.
• Grooming my horse: This was the hardest for me to do because I had to leave the house. This was also the most satifying guilty pleasure because Hano was my first baby and taking care of him always makes me feel better.

The biggest hurdle for me as a Momma to overcome was the need to plan my day and stick to the schedule. With a newborn all plans go out the window when she is hungry, has a wet or dirty diaper, has gas, or just plain needs to be held. These first few months are a time of snuggling and rocking and just eating up my new little bundle. The fact that she needs me is such a wonderful feeling but also having my time so that I can have a little break is a great too.

TIP: I am a list person. Now that Bryn is here and takes ALL of my attention I still make lists but I only aim to accomplish one thing on my list each day. Most of the time it is not all done in one sitting. Usually as soon as I start Bryn wakes up and I forget what I was doing. I have also gotten really good at doing things one handed: sweeping, laundry, vacuuming (she loves the vacuum), dishes, and the list goes on. 

What they don't tell you

There are quite a few things that no one ever told me before I had Bryn.  Here are just a few:

1. When your water breaks it keeps breaking: Make sure you are wearing a super absorbent pad if your water breaks at home because your car may need a detail if you are not prepared for Niagra Falls.
2. When you deliver there is A LOT of blood!: I am not a squeamish person but as soon as I saw how much blood is involved I quickly closed my eyes.  After all was said and done and I was about to move to our postpartum room I looked back at the room and it looked like a scene from NCIS or CSI.  BEWARE!
3. You actually have to "deliver" the placenta: For some women this comes easy but many actually find that this is more painful than the birth of your child. Fortnately, I wasn't one of them. Once the placenta is out you would not believe the relief!  Next to seeing my daughter for the first time this was the best part of my delivery experience.
4. You may shake uncontrollably after delivery: I just felt like I was cold and couldn't warm up. Don't worry! It is just adrenaline :) It does go away.
5. You WILL be unbelievably sore for a few days: Your body just went through battle. Listen to the nurses when they give you instructions and take care of yourself. Utilize the Sitz bath, peri bottle, witch hazel pads, hydrocortizone cream, and gloves filled with ice(my life saver).
6. The baby blues are VERY normal: About 80% of new mommas experience this. They try to tell you about it in the hospital but you probably won't listen. I didn't feel them until about 4 days after. I am going to do another entry just for this topic because it effected me that much.

On a much happier note I am absolutely loving being a Momma. It wasn't at all what I expected but I would not trade it for the anything.

Labor & Delivery

On Sunday, January 20th I started to have contractions around midnight. At first I thought nothing of them because they were not that strong. I started to notice they were on the hour every hour and growing more intense and lasting for about 30- 45 seconds.

By 8am the contractions had increased to every half hour and still lasted for 30- 45 seconds. I quickly called my mom, who was visiting that day, and told her what was going on. She said she would pack more clothes just in case today was the day.

I called my doctor just to let him know what was going on since it was a Sunday only to find out my biggest fear. My doctor was not on call that weekend and instead I was put in the care of his associate, a cold-hearted, dry-humored, Italian man with no sense of what a woman was going through (especially a first time mother). I called Brandt hysterically crying that the doctor basically made me feel like an idiot and told me not to call back unless I was having contractions 5 minutes apart for more than an hour lasting at least 60 seconds.  I then had hope that if this was the "real deal" maybe my doctor would be available tomorrow.

My mother arrived around 10:30am and we decided to go for a walk to kill some time. We walked for about an hour and by then the contractions were stong enough I could not talk through them. I knew then that this was time. No more Braxton Hicks. This was IT! I started getting anxious and we decided to go home so I could get some rest and have a late lunch.

We watched the Flyers game and I attempted to sleep but the contractions were keeping me up. By now it was about 4pm and I was still about 30 minutes apart and they were lasting between 45- 60 seconds. They were really starting to get INTENSE. To me they felt like the worst menstral cramp imaginable.

Finally, at 4:35pm I started having, what I thought was my worst one yet, so I got on the floor on all fours (a tip from my Aunt who has two kids) to relieve some pressure and as I put weight on my hands, my water broke. It felt like a hot water balloon popping. I yelled for my mom and she brought a towel so that I could run back to the shower. The warm water really felt good on my back.

I stood in the shower for about an hour and during that time my labor went from 0-60. My contractions were nearly on top of one another and they lasted only 30 seconds at best. I was confused at what to do so we called the meanie doctor and told him my water broke and where I was at with my contractions. He was not convinced I was close but told me if it would make me feel better to come to the hospital to get checked. We decided to hit the road.

My poor husband was in the grocery store check out when my mom called to tell him that my water broke. He frantically paid and drove home to pack his bag (which I told him to pack a month prior). While I was trying to get myself together to get out of the shower my Mom and Brandt loaded the car with all the bags and then helped me get dressed.

Something I never realized was that when your water breaks, you keep leaking fluid and everytime you have a contraction more comes out. Getting dressed was challenging to say the least between the constant contractions and all the fluid I was literally a MESS!

When we got into the car finally and the pain was at about a 9 at this point. Every bump would almost send me throught he roof and I found that the best way for me to deal with the pain at this point was to go completely rigid and "moan" at a very low pitched "awwww". It at least helped me to keep focused. My mom also would tell me to think about Bryn with her pig tails and cowboy boots on her first day of school. The visuals were REALLY helpful.....to a point.

The drive to the hospital took FOREVER!!! We got there and went to the wrong door and I about killed everyone in the car. I just wanted to get inside. By now my contractions were almost continuous and only got worse when I moved. I held my Mom's hand while Brandt parked the car and she later told me that I almost broke it.

We got up to the Maternity ward and checked in and signed paperwork (like I had epilepsy) and they got me into the room. It was 6:15pm now. I got into my gown and curled up on the bed on my side before they told me they had to get monitors on me, take my temperature, take my blood pressure, and then finally check me. I was not prepared for what they told me.

I was 7 cm. dialated and fully effaced! My first thought was "Holy crap! Can I still get an epidural". The poor nurse almost turned white and avoided answering my question.  She said "The anesthesiologist is ready but cannot give you one until we get the go-ahead from your doctor". "Where the hell is he?" was my reply. She said about 10 minutes away. I still thought I had time but the contractions were so bad now the only thing I could do was scream. I told myself I would not be one of those people but all that went out the window really fast. It was like I was possessed.

The room was filled with tons of people getting ready for our daughter's arrival. Someone came in to take blood and one of the nurses shooed him away and started bickering with another woman saying that they did not need to do that blood test because they already had my results. There was just mass chaos and I finally just yelled "What the hell is going on". How could they be so disorganized?  Don't they do this everyday?  Once again, I was not myself.

My doctor FINALLY shows up at around 7:15pm in jeans and cowboy boots. He puts on gloves to check me and I about fell off the table when he told me I was 9cm! 

He tells me that we can try an epidural but that it most likely will have little effect before I needed to start pushing.  I was game and they took my Mom and Brandt out of the room to do the procedure. People asked if it hurt but between the contractions and the pressure I really felt nothing.

Usually they administer an IV dose but because I was progressing so rapidly they only gave me a single shot.

At 7:30pm, about 10 minutes after the epidural I felt the incredible urge to push. My nurses told me to go ahead and coached me through.  The pushing itself did not hurt. My epidural had dulled the pain and I started to feel numbness in my legs, a normal occurance. Each contraction brought me closer and closer to meeting our little girl and that is what I focused on.

The last set of pushes were the worst. The epidural doesn't cover the birth.  At least mine did not. After the second to last push, my doctor told me to stop pushing but there were so many people in the room talking to me that I did not hear him. He was trying to give me an episiotomy because she was not going to fit. I pushed instead and ripped up and down. That feeling was indescribable and, I did not know this then, but my mom told me that I sat up and reached for the doctor and said "What the f*** are you doing", thinking that he had caused my intense pain. "You cannot touch me" he cried. He was holding Bryn in his hands.

Throughout the whole process I had my eyes closed to help me stay in my happier place. When I opened them for the first time my little girl was there. She cried on her own but I the doctor did not give her to me right away because her cord was very short (about half the length of a normal umbilical cord). He cut the cord and sent her to the warming table to get her APGAR score and make sure that she was healthy.  Other than swallowing a little amniotic fluid after she passed her meconium (first poop) she was perfect.

After she got checked over they brought her over to the bed so we could hold her for the first time. The feeling was indescribable. Brandt and I looked at eachother and cried because we could not believe that this beautiful little girl was all ours. :)